Is the Lieutenant Governor any skinnier after his public declaration in September 2006 that he was going to lose 30 pounds by January?
Assembly Anonymous thinks it is high time for the Lt. Gov. to fess up… did he get down to 248 (from his 278) as he pledged to do?
AA can’t think of anything worse than telling the whole world you are going to lose 30 pounds in three months (and he DID tell the world). In fact, he was right there in national stories with Mike Huckabee, who did manage to shed 100 big ones since last year.
This is crucial for us to know, now! It’s truly the first weighty matter of your expected run for governor. Virginia voters have a right to know: Do you do what you say you are going to do?
Anonymous watches Tim Russert, too. We see him try to trip up candidates on Meet the Press and get them to say something they’ll regret, something that will ruin their chances of ever being president.
We can see it now:
Russert: Mr. Bolling, you said you were going to lose 30 pounds in 10 months. Did you?
Bolling: Well, not quite, Tim. You see, I was running for office and it’s really hard to be starving on the campaign trail.
Russert: WHAT? You cheated? You didn’t stick with your sugar- free jello? You ate ICE CREAM??
Bolling: Just a few spoonfuls now and then. I still lost 13 pounds (for a while!)
Russert: Only 13 pounds and you ate ICE CREAM! How can the people of Virginia trust you? How big were those spoons, anyway?
How do they know you won’t dip into the Rainy Day Fund?
How do they know you won’t bring back abusive driver laws? How can Virginians ever have faith that you won’t have dog fights in your backyard?
You pledged to the people of Virginia that they would have a smaller lieutenant governor. Who wants a big lieutenant governor anyway? And remember, Mr. Bolling, Mr. Huckabee didn’t cheat. He’s a Baptist preacher. We know he didn’t sneak out and eat ice cream!
Bolling: Tim, please don’t try to pull any of that Hillary trap stuff on me… No, no, don’t do that… Please don’t show the before-and-after video clips. Use the before-and-before clips. I have no secrets. And by the way, Tim, if you don’t believe I’ve lightened up, you can watch me on our Senate video stream every day.
(Off camera) Bolling: Thank goodness for the tall desk!